Hi

I wonder if anyone will actually read this. I only use this for private posts that I never actually post. Anyway...tomorrow is the first day of December.

Let me list some things I am excited for:

-wrapping presents
-finding a job ._.
-reunion with the girls I went to preschool/elementary/some of middle school with...I also finally get to meet their kids
-trivia night
-tentative road trip
-decorating the christmas tree
-making christmas cards
-family christmas parties
-secret santa exchanges

I can't wait for the rain and peppermint hot chocolate.

CMA Music Festival is on.

It's been a while. This summer was amazing. Tomorrow is the first day of September. Some things that are gonna happen in September:

1) Pumpkin Spice is back at Starbucks. First thing I'll do tomorrow is get a well-missed PS latte.

2) Paint my room. Either a pale purple or mossy green.

3) Make a trip to socal to visit my girls and catch a UCI women's vball and/or men's soccer game.

4) Finish up PT applications by end of the month. Oh man can't wait to be free.

5) Take GRE's on the 12th. So sick of quantitative comparisons and vocab.

6) Hopefully get a job. Keep getting calls for interviews but can't work cause of school -_-

7) Get straight A's at Chabot.

8) Run the Union City 10k on the 13th

9) Hike Mission and visit Napa for wine tasting with the girls

10) GET RIGHT.

Summer

We're leaving for Tahoe in the morning and I haven't even started packing yet. My room is a mess because I moved back 2 days ago and all my shit is just spread out everywhere.

In other news, LAKERS ARE ONCE AGAIN NBA CHAMPS. It's been a long 7 years. Now there's gonna be even more haters. Oh well. Kobe and Fish have 4 and Phil has 10.

Graduation was bittersweet. It feels good to be done with college but I'm gonna miss my girls. I'm not gonna miss most of the socal bitches, but I will miss my bitches. I'll visit soon though.

I would post pictures but I'm too lazy and I should probably go pack.

Oh yea, I love my palm pre.

Letting Go

Last night wasn't pretty but definitely what I needed.

The first cut is the deepest. There's no way around that. So let it heal in its own time. Once it does, the scar will always be there, but accept it for what it is and move on.

All At Once

10 more days until graduation. We picked up our cap and gowns yesterday. It didn't seem real until then. Let's just say I've already checked out of school. Final today. About to start studying after this. Lab report due and one more final on Monday and then I'll be done.

NBA finals start tomorrow! Lakers in 6. For sure at least 5. Maybe 7. Either way, very excited. Tahoe with my mom's side in 2 weeks. We haven't had a huge family vacay in so long. Love them more than anything.

My grandma's surgery went fine but they had to alter it so it'll take longer for her to heal. This means she'll have to be in the hospital longer, which means she might miss my graduation cause she'll be too weak. I really wanted her to be here, but as long as she's okay, no worries. Wish my grandpa could have been here.

Pohia

What pohia means:

Unstoppable

I called my grandma the other day and according to my dad, it made her day. I get to see her next week when she comes down south for a visit. She's also the only other person other than my parents and sisters that is coming to my graduation next month. She is seriously the strongest woman I know. She's been through it all, including cancer. I don't really get to see or talk to her much...but I'm definitely going to call her more often. My dad was telling me that according to her bloodwork and the doctors, it's not looking good. Oh don't get me wrong, she'd fight it with all she has, but everyone has to be prepared for the worse. I made the mistake of not making the most of the time I had with my grandpa when he was alive. I'm NOT going to make that same mistake with her. Shit I'm crying. Good night.

Things People Say

Supwitit. It's been a minute so I thought I'd post an entry. Life is goooood.

• The weather has been amazing to say the least.
• I love all my classes!
• Graduation is in less than 2 months.
• Taylor Swift next month!
• Tahoe with my favorite cousins to start off the summer.
• I finally went back to CHOC.
• Sports Med is fine and dandy.
• Men's Volleyball AND Baseball are ranked #1 in the nation!
• Lakers are smashin', but no surprise there.
• My tanlines are once again looking like underwear.

Anyway, listen here Babygirl. I know it sucks right now. But let me tell you how it goes. First you're sad AND mad. Just all these emotions and it's like you don't know what to do with them. So let 'em out. Don't be ashamed. Keep it bottled in and it'll be worse later on. Okay so then you get sick of being sad and now you're just mad. After you're pissed for a while, you realize that it's a waste of time. So then you get sad again. Go through the motions. Feel what your heart wants you to feel. Cause once that's all said and done, you're stronger. You're able to look back on everything and accept it for what it was and what it is. It DOES get better in time. You just have to let it.

Today: laundry. gym. training room. maybe baseball game. pool. groceries. car wash. study. Round 1 Game 2!

50

Happy Birthday to my Mama! She turned 50 today. Weeeeeee!

Walkin' On the Moon

Studying for finals is kind of fun. Yeah I said it.

Wow. Laker is game is on and they need to pull it together and figure it out. Other than that, they are amazing.

I started running again and then did taebo last night so my quads are killing me right now. It hurts to walk.

Keri Hilson's album is pretty good.

Vegas in less than 2 weeks with my ETCS girls! I miss them.

Only my dad's side is Catholic but I still wanted to give up something for Lent. What did I choose? Sushi. It's been torture.

Okay back to studying. Besides, my laptop is about to die.

I'm so excited for Spring Break!!

She Rockin' That Thing Like...

March is gonna be my GET RIGHT month. I need to stop slackin off in school, stop spending money like it grows on trees, eat right to control my sky high triglycerides, and effing make up with the gym already.

It seriously feels like I'm not going to school cause all I do is go to class, sit there and either: not pay attention, write letters, or fall asleep. I'll be lucky if I pass Stats this quarter. This Tuesday, I have a midterm, a paper due, and a postlab due. I just need to get my priorities straight. I'm so close to graduating and yet everyday I say I want to drop outta school. I'm just so sick of it. But I know I gotta suck it up for a few more months.

Anyway...for my last quarter I only have to take 12 units. Freshwater Ecology Lab, Asian American Psychology, and Afro Latin American Music. Hahahaaaha. So excited. AND I only have class on Mondays and Wednesdays. Holler.

It was pretty warm today. Warm enough to lay by the pool after working 5 hours of sports med for some damn wrestling meet. Swear that shit was so stressful. Why do people wrestle?!? It's a death wish. Some guy broke his wrist, there were subluxed shoulders, and bloody noses everywhere. Everytime someone yelled "trainer" my heart skipped a beat cause I thought someone was dying. -_-

I can't wait til spring break. VEGAS with my ETCS girls. And of course a couple days spent back at home with family.

This post is getting too long. I don't have any new pictures to post so here's a throwback:

emotes for life. miss you ditch.

Gnight, don't let the bed bugs bite.

Pimp Juice

Laundry all day.

Vegas was the shit. XS @ the Encore is the nicest club I've ever been in.

Ashley's birthday was great!

All-Star game today!

February

I have a midterm tomorrow. That's why I'm on here.

My dad just called me. He moved to Chicago on Monday. Just talking to him on the phone almost made me cry. He asked when I'd be coming home next. I told him spring break cause I knew he was going to come back at that time. I remember when me and Jody were little and how every night before we went to bed, he'd stay up and tell us bedtime stories he had made up by himself. And how'd we never want to go to bed cause we wanted to hear more. You wouldn't think so now, but we used to be daddy's little girls. It's sad that we've grown apart from him. It's going to be so weird to come home and not have him there. I could tell in his voice that he was sad. I would hate to have to leave my entire family and live somewhere else all by myself for at least 2 years. And it's freaking freezing over there right now. Maybe I'll apply to PT schools in Chicago.

Me and Christine ordered our cap & gowns yesterday and scheduled appointments for graduation portraits. I can't believe we're graduating in 4 months. I'm excited but scared at the same time. But then again, I can't wait to be done with school for at least a couple months. My dad was saying my grandma's going to come to my graduation. Well duh. If I only get 4-5 tickets, she's first on my list. I wish my grandpa could be there.


Some Reasons to Love February:
-it's Black History month! (I ♥ BP)
-almost all expense paid trip to VEGAS in 2 days
-gf's 22nd birthday
-ms. Jenny Kim's 23rd birthday
-Angeliza's 22nd birthday
-Jody's 19th birthday. wow that sounds so young.
-intramural volleyball (let's just say I am an amazing talent)

Family Business

It feels so good to be home. I get to see my mom's side of the family today and then my dad's side tomorrow.

I got back yesterday afternoon and the first thing I did was visit my grandpa. It felt so weird. I couldn't help but tear up. Damn I'm tearing up just typing this out. The day of his funeral was seriously the saddest day of my life. I had never cried like that before. It felt like my heart was in a million pieces that day.

I had gotten it partially for him, but actually seeing the character of our last name on his tombstone just gave it that much more meaning. Tomorrow would have been his 90th birthday.

Closure

I've never been able to see more clearly.

"Shame, shame, shame on you...look who's lookin like a fool."

Whatev-dot.

- i come on here everytime i have homework to do but don't want to do it

- i have 2 new penpals. lydia ann wong and sarah ann brown. yes they have the same middle name. i love writing and receiving letters. even if your middle name isn't ann, you can still be my penpal. just let me know. i have really cool stationary.

- i had my first midterm of the quarter today.

- i now officially hate school cause it made me miss most of the inauguration this morning. I had to stop watching in the middle of aretha singing. (i really want to borrow her hat btw. SO cool)

-i'm really excited to go home for chinese new year. i miss my family.

-i love texting.

-we have such a great president.

Pain

I HATE SUSHI.

Summer in January

According to weather.com, it's 86 degrees in Newport Beach. This is great! I'm supposed to be writing my postlab. Instead, I cut my nails and put the finishing touches on your letter ditch. It's so nice outside.

Now I need to type out what I came on here to say and do my homework.


Life is unfair. Deal with it. You don't always get what you want. But that doesn't mean you should sit there and dwell on it. Don't try to change something that doesn't want to be changed. It is what it is. Just let shit be.

she likes to front and act like she doesn't love it.

Heavier Things

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to not to feel a certain way, you can't help but to feel that way. It doesn't make sense and you hate yourself for it, but there's nothing you can do. You try and fight it, tell yourself that it's irrational and ridiculous. But in the end, you end up getting hurt.

Sometimes you try so hard to run away from something that you don't see it catch up with you from behind. So don't fight it. Go through the motions. Feel the way your heart wants you to feel. Yeah, you might get hurt but take it as a lesson. Learn from your mistakes. Follow your heart.



In other news, school starts tomorrow. I don't think I'm dreading it as much as most people are. Maybe it's because I'm only taking 12 units. (Well 16 if you count that online class) I have stats, cell bio and hopefully that psych class if I can get in despite the extremely long waitlist. I still can't believe I'm graduating this year. During freshman year, 2009 felt so far away.

I made up with the ARC today. It was great. Lakers are on fire. No surprise there. I have fallen in love with tea. All kinds but namely green tea w/brown rice and pure chamomile. My winter break wasn't what I expected it to be but that doesn't mean it wasn't great. I definitely needed a break from school and I got to spend time with people that I rarely get to see. I'm really thankful for the relationships I have with the people back home and the fact that they're there for me when I need them the most. I need to go to bed. Good night.