Letting Go

Last night wasn't pretty but definitely what I needed.

The first cut is the deepest. There's no way around that. So let it heal in its own time. Once it does, the scar will always be there, but accept it for what it is and move on.

All At Once

10 more days until graduation. We picked up our cap and gowns yesterday. It didn't seem real until then. Let's just say I've already checked out of school. Final today. About to start studying after this. Lab report due and one more final on Monday and then I'll be done.

NBA finals start tomorrow! Lakers in 6. For sure at least 5. Maybe 7. Either way, very excited. Tahoe with my mom's side in 2 weeks. We haven't had a huge family vacay in so long. Love them more than anything.

My grandma's surgery went fine but they had to alter it so it'll take longer for her to heal. This means she'll have to be in the hospital longer, which means she might miss my graduation cause she'll be too weak. I really wanted her to be here, but as long as she's okay, no worries. Wish my grandpa could have been here.

Pohia

What pohia means:

Unstoppable

I called my grandma the other day and according to my dad, it made her day. I get to see her next week when she comes down south for a visit. She's also the only other person other than my parents and sisters that is coming to my graduation next month. She is seriously the strongest woman I know. She's been through it all, including cancer. I don't really get to see or talk to her much...but I'm definitely going to call her more often. My dad was telling me that according to her bloodwork and the doctors, it's not looking good. Oh don't get me wrong, she'd fight it with all she has, but everyone has to be prepared for the worse. I made the mistake of not making the most of the time I had with my grandpa when he was alive. I'm NOT going to make that same mistake with her. Shit I'm crying. Good night.

Things People Say

Supwitit. It's been a minute so I thought I'd post an entry. Life is goooood.

• The weather has been amazing to say the least.
• I love all my classes!
• Graduation is in less than 2 months.
• Taylor Swift next month!
• Tahoe with my favorite cousins to start off the summer.
• I finally went back to CHOC.
• Sports Med is fine and dandy.
• Men's Volleyball AND Baseball are ranked #1 in the nation!
• Lakers are smashin', but no surprise there.
• My tanlines are once again looking like underwear.

Anyway, listen here Babygirl. I know it sucks right now. But let me tell you how it goes. First you're sad AND mad. Just all these emotions and it's like you don't know what to do with them. So let 'em out. Don't be ashamed. Keep it bottled in and it'll be worse later on. Okay so then you get sick of being sad and now you're just mad. After you're pissed for a while, you realize that it's a waste of time. So then you get sad again. Go through the motions. Feel what your heart wants you to feel. Cause once that's all said and done, you're stronger. You're able to look back on everything and accept it for what it was and what it is. It DOES get better in time. You just have to let it.

Today: laundry. gym. training room. maybe baseball game. pool. groceries. car wash. study. Round 1 Game 2!

50

Happy Birthday to my Mama! She turned 50 today. Weeeeeee!

Walkin' On the Moon

Studying for finals is kind of fun. Yeah I said it.

Wow. Laker is game is on and they need to pull it together and figure it out. Other than that, they are amazing.

I started running again and then did taebo last night so my quads are killing me right now. It hurts to walk.

Keri Hilson's album is pretty good.

Vegas in less than 2 weeks with my ETCS girls! I miss them.

Only my dad's side is Catholic but I still wanted to give up something for Lent. What did I choose? Sushi. It's been torture.

Okay back to studying. Besides, my laptop is about to die.

I'm so excited for Spring Break!!